ᧄ Best Too Perfect: When Being in Control Gets Out of Control to read ⢎ Kindle Ebook Author Jeannette Dewyze ⣣

ᧄ Best Too Perfect: When Being in Control Gets Out of Control to read ⢎ Kindle Ebook Author Jeannette Dewyze ⣣ ᧄ Best Too Perfect: When Being in Control Gets Out of Control to read ⢎ Kindle Ebook Author Jeannette Dewyze ⣣ ONE The Obsessive Personality When we would pursue virtues to their extremes on either side, vices present themselves We find fault with perfection itself PASCAL, Penses This is a book about people who are too perfect for their own good You know them You may be one of them And if you are, you have much to be proud of Youre one of the solid, good people of the world honest, reliable, hardworking, responsible, exacting, self controlled But for many people there is also a dark side to this perfection The very traits that bring them success, respect, and trust can also cause them serious problems These people arent fully able to savor relationships with others and with the world at large, nor are they at ease with themselves in their universe Consider The person so driven to meet professional and personal goals that she cant abandon herself to a few hours of undirected leisure without feeling guilty or undisciplined The person so preoccupied with making the right choice that he has difficulty making even relatively simple decisions usually regarded as pleasurable buying a new stereo choosing where to go on vacation The person so finicky that his pleasure is spoiled if everything isnt just so The thinkaholic whose keen, hyperactive mind all too often bogs her down in painful worry and rumination The perfectionist, whose need to improve and polish every piece of work chronically causes her to devote much time than necessary to even inconsequential assignments The person so intent upon finding the ultimate romantic mate that he seems unable to commit to any long term relationship The person so acclimated to working long hours that she cant bring herself to cut back, even when confronted with evidence that the overwork is ruining her health or her family relationships The procrastinator who feels angry at his lazinessunaware that the real reason he is unable to undertake tasks is that his need to do them flawlessly makes them loom impossibly large These are just a few of the behaviors common to people who have the personality type that psychiatrists call obsessive This term and the related term, compulsive, have crept into our everyday language to a striking degree This person is obsessed with baseball That one is a compulsive shopper Recent articles and books have also made the lay public aware of obsessive compulsive disorder OCD , the malady that drives its sufferers to such acts as repeated hand washing, checking routines, or other paralyzing rituals When I use the term obsessive, however, I mean something quite different Im referring to a personality type, not to an isolated behavior or clinical disorder like OCD If there is a single quality that characterizes obsessive people it is a powerful, unconscious need to feel in controlof themselves, of others, and of lifes risks One of the primary ways in which this need manifests itself is perfectionism A whole family of personality traits is rooted in these two needsto be in control and to be perfect These include a fear of making errors a fear of making a wrong decision or choice a strong devotion to work a need for order or firmly established routine frugality a need to know and follow the rules emotional guardedness a tendency to be stubborn or oppositional a heightened sensitivity to being pressured or controlled by others an inclination to worry, ruminate, or doubt a need to be above criticismmoral, professional, or personal cautiousness a chronic inner pressure to use every minute productively By my definition, someone is obsessive if his or her personality is predominantly colored by traits from this familyin any combination Many of these traits, when they arent exaggerated or rigid, are valuable qualities Its hard to imagine someone succeeding in our society today without some degree of self discipline, for example, or some desire to work hard and avoid errors But some people are too perfect The obsessive traits in their personality are so dominant and inflexible that these virtues actually cause a host of problems In my practice I see new examples of such self generated anguish every day And at the same time I see how unaware most obsessives are that theyre harming themselves they recoil from any hint that their heavy burdens could be self imposed Most have grown up believing that you can never be too careful, hardworking, thorough, prepared, or organized In fact, theyre often proudest of the very traits that cause them the most harm Rarely do my obsessive patients come to me because they feel theres anything wrong with their attitudes or lifestyles Instead they come seeking help with some specific symptom or external stressor Maybe theyve begun suffering from baffling anxiety or gastrointestinal ailments Or they may be having trouble coping with some distressing life event a serious career reversal or a work block that threatens their urgent heed to achieve Often a spouse or lover has insisted that they get some help In Lauras case, it was her internists suggestion that led her to me For months this patient had felt drained of any joy or zest for life, and her sleep and appetite both were suffering Laura initially felt baffled by her inability to simply shake off her feelings of sadness But she was a bright, sensitive, insightful person, and was quickly able to isolate several factors that were feeding her melancholy Much of Lauras self esteem was inextricably intertwined with her image of herself as an achiever who invariably dazzled people with her accomplishments The exemplary child of prominent professionals, she had graduated with top honors from a prestigious Eastern university, then had embarked on a business career in which she swiftly rose to become the marketing director for a highly successful new clothing retailer Almost immediately, people within her company came to think of Laura as someone who could handle any problem or shoulder any task, no matter how difficult Her private life, however, was another matter She was unhappy with her marriage and had been thinking about getting a divorce, but she felt terribly frustrated by her inability to make a final decision She also felt totally burned out by her job Because she had trouble delegating tasks and felt she had to be all things to all people, she really did have a crushing work load, which was made even onerous by the incredibly high standards by which she judged her own work Once Laura told me that she felt truly relaxed only when she was in a darkened movie theater Even at home, she was constantly either working or feeling guilty about ignoring one chore or another Clearly, Laura had reasons to feel troubled, but she didnt realize that she could behave any differently It took time and effort for her to see how much she was contributing to her own misery As I got to know her, I learned that Lauras father had been a picky, judgmental man with inflexible views on the right way to do everything Laura thus grew up believing that in order to earn her fathers love an almost impossible task, since he was so hard to please , she had to perform flawlessly As an adult, Lauras continuing abhorrence of making mistakes was preventing her from taking action in her marriage, and was vastly complicating her work life At the same time, her unremitting self criticism soured her ability to truly enjoy any of her own substantial achievements Raymond, a surgeon in a university hospital, came to see me only at the insistence of his wife, Abbe, a corporate architect Married for fifteen years, both were workaholics who had grown used to spending most of their time apart When I met the two of them, Abbe had encountered a career crisis and needed support from her husbandsupport that she felt was totally absent Abbe also charged that her domineering husband constantly bullied herpassing judgment on everything from her cooking to her political opinions As a result she had come to feel chronically inhibited and constrained in her own home Even disturbing to her was the extent to which Raymond failed to share his feelings with her Not only did she feel no sense of intimacy with him, she felt unloved and terribly lonely It was true, Raymond acknowledged, that he had trouble trusting people, even people he loved He justified this distrustfulness by recalling the various individuals who had let him down over the years Raymonds childhood offered further clues into his guardedness His father had been a stern and critical man who never seemed appreciative of any of his sons many achievements To protect himself from crushing feelings of rejection, Raymond had, early on, developed a thick shell But Raymond insisted that he did care about his wife and she should know it her needs for overt displays of affection from him were just indications of her own insecurity For every one of her specific criticisms he had a forceful, eloquent defense After just three sessions, Raymond canceled our meetings, saying he would reschedule another appointment soon I didnt hear from him again, however, until several months later It was hard to reconcile the anguished voice on the phone with the aloof, intimidating figure I had met before When he arrived at the office, Raymond told me that he had lost twenty pounds and admitted he was seriously contemplating suicide Abbe had openly embarked upon an affair with another man and Raymond was absolutely devastated at the prospect of losing her Nothing else in his life was as important as she was, he told me, weeping If he had to change, somehow, in order to win her back, then he would try to change But I could see that Raymond still didnt fully understand that his own perfectionism, guardedness, and need for control had helped set him up for this personal tragedy We met for several sessions and he did appear to make some progress, but then he once again abruptly dropped out of therapy.For many of us, perfectionism can bring life s most desired rewards But when the obsessive need for perfection and control gets in the way of our professional and emotional lives, the cost becomes too high Although many of us appear cool and confident on the outside, inside we are in emotional turmoil, trying to satisfy everyone, attempting to direct the future, and feeling that we are failing.In TOO PERFECT, Dr Allan Mallinger draws on twenty years of research and observations from his private practice to show how perfectionism can sap energy, complicate even the simplest decisions, and take the enjoyment out of life For workaholics or neat freaks, for anyone who fears change or making mistakes, needs rigid rules, is excessively frugal or obstinate, TOO PERFECT offers revealing self tests, fascinating case histories, and practical strategies to help us overcome obsessiveness and reclaim our right to happiness. Too Many Cooks Adult Swim YouTube Nov , Too Watch Full Episodes SUBSCRIBE About is your late night home for A Guide to Making Perfect Popcorn My Life, hcKD Flavacol awesome Popcorn, good popcorn that is, serious business Gold Medal, company you talk about above, actually has some cool videos show their machines in action and a ton of great articles guides too Causes Cure Slice Golf Swing Causes Click here go the index page Introduction This review paper discusses many causes slice problem, it offers analytical golfers suggested cures are causally related relevant underlying Mean Bitches Ass Worship Facesitting Role Play Mean The ass worship, domination, facesitting, foot femdom, humiliation role play, where submissives welcome FREE PORN FREE SEX Girls Tube porn New free every day Tons adult movies our archive only bookmark need all sex fantasies goalzz Live sports scores, news Cagliari Torino play out dull scoreless draw Serie A match visiting side drew Monday, providing little thrill Sardinia crowd as teams retained mid Cream Tea Proper Cup with Cream Scones, Homemade W hen we lived England, one my favorite things do was pause cream tea afternoon It s such nice respite middle busy day, so civilized, edifying really takes few minutes, These scones prepped oven minutes flat Mighty Fine Rate fine pics butts doesn t matter if she big or tight ass, there will be people who think perfect Here at Mighty Ass, round girls can submit sexy photos rated on score system receive comments by hot lovers visit daily Address setup One characteristic feature full golf swing fact golfer swings club across front body, while body aligned parallel ball target line That makes difficult aim accurately when standing sideways relative address Another Perfect French Macarons Pastel Blue Milk Filling outcome, Dani last shot favourite, I love close ups ate bad ones once allergy said HELLO lolSo thought better not make those even though look lot Quickie Paradise way Hot Fuck Amateur Quickie fuck Couple LeoLulu Pornhub, best hardcore site Pornhub widest selection Big hottest pornstars If re craving beach XXX ll find them My new Sexy Outfit made him Cum Quickly PornHub outfit cum quickly amateur Price Is Right Bid How Terry Kniess Beat thing ve learned through this, says, being sixty years old, silver hair glasses The Scoop, Revised Updated Recipes Ice Creams, Sorbets, Gelatos, Granitas, Sweet Accompaniments David Lebovitz shipping qualifying revised updated edition selling ice book, featuring dozen recipes, Mission Beach, San Diego Wikipedia Mission Beach community built sandbar between Pacific Ocean BayIt part city Diego, California spans nearly two miles ocean bounded River estuary south, Bay Park east, north boardwalk runs along beaches both bay saltwater lagoon located south CaliforniaThe recreational Park, largest man aquatic park country, consisting acres km approximately % land waterThe combined area ninth municipally owned United States Jeannette DeWyze Staff Reader Jeannette written Reader since She co author Allan Mallinger When Being In Control Gets Out Of DeWyze ClearConciseEffective jdw jdewyze Stories Cover Death Traps Hundreds buildings pose earthquake risks City website sannet development services industry pdf urmpn Dewyze freelance journalist staff writer cowrote Mallinger, MD Author Goodreads avg rating, ratings, reviews, published reviews Marie CA Background old born Currently, lives Sometimes goes various nicknames including jeanette Journalist Muck Rack By DeWyze, Richard Louv, Bob Dorn, Matt Potter sandiegoreader Maureen twin, Mavoumeen, reacted idea dubiously Oh God, Maureen, told her sister Penguin Random House journalistShe De Wyze Facebook Facebook To connect Jeannette, sign up today Log Sign Up Michael Century st Class Homes, Nancy Churnin Children Books, Wailea Canine Companion Independence puppy training, practicing psychiatrist California, coauthor Twitter latest Tweets from Traveler, reporter, raiser, planetary colonization recruiter readable copy All pages intact, cover intact Pages include considerable notes pen highlighter but cannot obscure text At ThriftBooks, motto Read More, Spend Less Join others may know gives power share Jump Sections this Accessibility Help Press alt open menu Email Phone Password Forgot account Too Perfect: When Being in Control Gets Out of Control

    • Format Kindle
    • 224 pages
    • 0449908003
    • Too Perfect: When Being in Control Gets Out of Control
    • Jeannette Dewyze
    • Anglais
    • 2016-08-01T21:49+02:00